Every year people all around the world make resolutions of ways they are going to improve and change their lives in the new year. Some people make it a week before their resolve waivers. Others a bit longer but eventually, most will fall off the bandwagon in one way or another and then be plagued with guilt over their failure.

So in the beginning of December I started thinking about my own and I came to one very clear conclusion: most of my resolutions left me feeling selfish.

Taking time for myself when there is so much work to be done is a hard thing to do. As a mom the job never ends, a wife the shared home life chores are a LONG list, and as an author I feel obligated to promotions or social media posting 24/7. When exactly am I supposed to carve out time for me when the demands are pulling me away?

Then I realized why I have always failed…I WAS being selfish. At least my perception sees it as that and I inevitably sabotaged myself out of guilt. Despite knowing that there was nothing WRONG with my taking time for myself I had to find a way of shifting my focus.

So this year I have decided to make goals based around giving back.  Here are some of the things that have helped me to commit to change:

1. Focusing on my health on a daily basis so that I can be with my family for many years to come (not because I want to be a specific clothing size or number on a scale)
2. I will take more time off from work after school to spend time with my son, who is 9 going on 20. These years are precious and I know that we won’t get them back. (This means less time on social media in the evenings and weekends)
3. A return to cooking at home with whole foods and dedicating time to our garden and green house to ensure that my family is getting good nutrition that will keep us healthy and happy. (instead of relying on expensive organics from the grocery store that send my shopping bill through the roof)
4. Read books to help review and promote other authors who have been kind and generous to me over the past few years. (instead of being so bound up in my own work that I can’t ever share great authors with potential readers)
5. Dedicate to a family exercise activity each day to remain active, healthy and have fun as a family. (instead of trudging through a solo workout)

Each one of these have been my constant goals for the past 4 years. Health. Family. Fitness. Wellness. Down time. Less work.

But by turning my resolutions into outward goals it will help me get over the feelings of “I’m just being selfish” and remind me that my health, time and giving is a blessing to others.

How can you change your thinking for the better in 2016?

“The greatest gift you can give is time.” ~ Amy Miles