Tears, pleas and deadlines.

Although this blog post has been a long time in the making, tonight I hit rock bottom.  

Since January I have written six books and published 4 of them, the fifth is in the hands of our agent at the moment.  I have traveled through more states than I care to count and signed at 10 events.  I leave tomorrow for my 11th of the year and have 2 more still to go.  After purchasing my car back in February, we have put a grand total of 22k miles on the clock, most of those are work miles heading to events.  We have planned and organized for a year on our first event and are about to celebrate Penned Con in three weeks.  We have experienced our first year of Red Coat PR and learned what it is like to build two businesses from the ground up.

We knew that 2014 was going to be a building year for both my husband and I.  We are the type of people who strive for excellence in everything that we do.  We work 17 hours a day most days and fall into bed completely spent, only to realize we forgot to do something and add it to our ever growing to-do list for the following day.

When this summer began I vowed that I would slow down.  Take more time to spend with our son.  In reality, we sped up, worked more and the days slipped past with hardly a blink.  

On the eve of my son’s first day of second grade I realize that I broke my vow.  Not just to myself but to my son.  His tears as I put him to bed tonight, crying over the fact that I am once again about to leave him to attend another book signing, reminded me of all of the times that I couldn’t stop and play golf with him because I had to meet a self appointed deadline.  Of the times he would beg me to stop and play with him but I had emails to respond to or facebook messages popping up.  When edits had me locked away in my office instead of goofing off with him in the pool or I was simply too busy to read him a book.  

I missed out on far more than summer.  I missed out on my son and I HATE that.  

I have a sign that I found not too long ago at a Cracker Barrel that states “Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.”  For the past year, this has been my life.  

I’m tired.  I’m burnt out.  I miss my little man.

Tears.  Pleas.  Deadlines. 

I’m done.  

For those of you who have encouraged and supported me, I thank you!  Writing has always been a passion of mine, one that makes me actually want to get out of bed each morning, but my family is even more important.  So I’ve made a decision…I’m going to slow down.  Not just say it, but actually do it.

With school starting up, I’m going to be a mom when my little man gets home.  I’m going to help with homework, cook dinner and lounge on the couch for a movie night.  No more killing myself to meet a deadline.  No more missed moments with my son.  No more weekends spent in front of my laptop.  I will be cutting back on my events for 2015 as well.  I simply cant do the tears any more.

School hours will be my writing time, my time to chat and hang out with everyone, but my evenings and weekends are special to me.  Social media and building relationships with my readers has always been a top priority to me, and will continue to be, but its time that I take a step back.

I’ve spoken with countless authors who struggle with this same issue.  Time management is hard.  We all push ourselves too far and too hard.  I, for one, am ready to enjoy life again.  

So…at this time the only deadline that I am currently working toward is the release of WITHER for Halloween.  This week Danielle Bannister and I are putting the finishing touches on our co-written banshee novel, Netherworld, which our agent is excited to start pitching.  

For those of you eagerly awaiting Savage and Refuge, I am not setting a release date at this time.  As always, I want to produce the best book possible and I cant do that if I set yet another insane deadline.  Just know that I am working on it 🙂

It has been a wild year and I am grateful for every person that I have had the chance to meet, whether in person or online.  You are the reason I love to write, and that’s not going to change.  

Please share your thoughts

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s